1 00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:03,869 And these pictures of Earth were taken from space? 2 00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:05,804 Yeah. By satellite. 3 00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:07,906 See that guy waving? 4 00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:10,309 - That's your dad. - Really? 5 00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:13,112 [laughs] 6 00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,080 What's that? 7 00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:17,316 - Aah! Aah! - Gotcha. 8 00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:21,153 It took me four years and I finally got you. 9 00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,621 What can I say? 10 00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:25,024 You've learned well, Grasshopper. 11 00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:26,558 Congratulations. 12 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,660 Ha! What a maroon! 13 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,663 Hello. Am I glad to be home? 14 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,400 Oh, sure, if you don't mind 15 00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:37,169 your son's going to inherit a dying world. 16 00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,339 What have you done now? 17 00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:43,042 I was just showing Brian where the world's rainforests 18 00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:44,576 used to be. 19 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,245 You know, you guys are really doing a number 20 00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:47,746 on this planet. 21 00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,081 If I were you, I wouldn't expect to 22 00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,283 get my security deposit back. 23 00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,952 Were these free? 24 00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:55,587 [laughs] 25 00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,825 You wish. 26 00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:02,394 You know, this has got me very worried, Willie. 27 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:05,431 Everything I read in the papers is bad news. 28 00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:08,167 Oil spills, acid rain 29 00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:10,803 toxic dumping, Zsa Zsa. 30 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,606 I know it sometimes looks pretty grim. 31 00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,642 Oh, ha. Face it. 32 00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,644 Putting humans in charge of the Earth 33 00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:21,747 is the cosmic equivalent of letting Eddie Murphy direct. 34 00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:26,251 [theme music] 35 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,482 [music continues] 36 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,312 [instrumental music] 37 00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:31,717 Oh, you're up early. 38 00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,519 I had trouble sleeping. 39 00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:36,355 I heard something very disturbing last night. 40 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:40,893 ALF, w-when two people love each other-- 41 00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:42,261 Oh, relax. 42 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,763 I wasn't listening at your door. 43 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:47,733 It was something I heard on the radio. 44 00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:49,701 [sighs] 45 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,170 I suppose I don't have to tell you 46 00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:52,571 what chlorofluorocarbons 47 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,940 are doing to the Earth's atmosphere. 48 00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:58,110 Although, I'd probably have to tell Kate. 49 00:02:58,112 --> 00:02:59,611 You mean C.F.C.'s? 50 00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:02,314 those man-made chemicals used in coolants 51 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:03,882 which are responsible for destroying 52 00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,150 the Earth's ozone layer? 53 00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,819 Those chlorofluorocarbons? 54 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:08,987 Lucky guess. 55 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:11,690 Now spell xylophone. 56 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:14,960 We're gonna be here for quite a while, aren't we? 57 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:17,996 The guy on the radio said this company called Sendrax 58 00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:21,600 is one of the nation's largest suppliers of C.F.C.'s. 59 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:26,338 And now you're sending a letter to the station to thank them. 60 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:29,708 Please, God, that's all it is. 61 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:33,478 This happens to be a letter to the head honcho of Sendrax. 62 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,881 A letter? Good for you. 63 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,216 Well, thank you. 64 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,917 Anyone care to read it? 65 00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,652 It's quite, quite, quite 66 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:43,255 quite, quite, quite, quite good. 67 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,926 "Dear Sendrax, manufacturing C.F.C.'s 68 00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:50,362 is a threat to the survival of the planet. 69 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:53,732 "In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say it's wrong. 70 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,735 Damn wrong! So just knock it off." 71 00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,905 Very well-reasoned. 72 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,473 And the use of the glitter pen 73 00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,775 gives it a certain visual appeal. 74 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:07,012 - Good luck. - Don't.. Don't encourage him. 75 00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,547 Oh, Willie, it's one letter. 76 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,182 It's the same thing that we would do. 77 00:04:10,184 --> 00:04:11,883 It always starts out harmlessly enough 78 00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,653 and then we're left there, just left there scrambling 79 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:17,556 for yet another mortgage. 80 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,791 He feels strongly about it. 81 00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:22,461 And you know he's gonna do it anyway. 82 00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:28,400 [instrumental music] 83 00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:31,270 And another thing. 84 00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:34,106 Besides destroying the ozone layer 85 00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:39,678 C.F.C.'s also contribute to, uh, the greenhouse effect 86 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,481 which is heating up the Earth's atmosphere. 87 00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:46,351 Now, I find this especially troublesome because.. 88 00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:48,720 Well, I have a lot of hair. 89 00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,757 (male 'Right. Uh, thank you, Gordon.' 90 00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:54,259 'And remember, callers, today's topic is' 91 00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,328 'home health care for the elderly.' 92 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:59,331 Oh, yeah, yeah. Uh, I'm in favor of that, by the way. 93 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:02,701 (male 'Murray, I thought you were screening these calls.' 94 00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,706 ALF, you shouldn't be on the radio. 95 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:11,743 Well, T.V. tends to make my nose look large. 96 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:14,146 You got another letter from Sendrax. 97 00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:16,715 Ooh! Ooh, I'm so excited. 98 00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,317 Am I drooling? 99 00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,886 Thankfully, not yet. 100 00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,054 Ah. 101 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,892 "Dear Mr. Shumway. Thank you for your letter. 102 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:29,695 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 103 00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:32,698 We, too, are concerned about the environment." 104 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,934 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 105 00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,805 Ugh. Blown off again. 106 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:42,541 Maybe you should just drop it. 107 00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:44,943 No, I can't sit idly by 108 00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:48,080 and watch another planet be destroyed. 109 00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:50,282 That would make me oh for three. 110 00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:51,783 Three? 111 00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:54,720 Guy has to have some secrets. 112 00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:57,556 I'm prepared to send thousands of letters. 113 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,991 Hundreds, if that's what it takes. 114 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,895 [instrumental music] 115 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,299 "Dear Sendrax. 116 00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:10,202 "You should stop making C.F.C.'s 117 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:13,004 "because as Gordon Shumway says 118 00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:16,408 "'There's no zone like the ozone.' 119 00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:20,178 "Much love. 120 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,183 Marvin Hamlisch." 121 00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:30,856 There's a notation in my checkbook 122 00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:34,126 for a $300 payment to the post office. 123 00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:37,796 Oh, oh, oh. And you think I'm responsible, don't you? 124 00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,832 Because that's what the tone of your voice implies, mister. 125 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:44,436 And if you think you can just waltz in here and accuse me of-- 126 00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:48,206 Just admit it, ALF. Why? Why? Why? Why? 127 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:51,109 Why? Why? Why? 128 00:06:54,148 --> 00:06:56,214 Alright, alright. 129 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:59,117 I needed to send a thousand letters to Sendrax 130 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:02,120 and I ran out of stamps after the first six. 131 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,823 I hope that clears up the matter. 132 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,327 Did it ever occur to you that when I tape my checkbook 133 00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:10,796 to the underside of my sock drawer 134 00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:13,265 it means I don't want you using it? 135 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,600 Well, I'm not a mind reader. 136 00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,504 Contrary to popular belief 137 00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:22,174 I do not exist merely to bankroll you. 138 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,176 So that's it, huh? 139 00:07:24,178 --> 00:07:26,711 You're cutting me off at the knees. 140 00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,346 Consider yourself lucky. 141 00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,615 Kate suggested a foot higher. 142 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:34,085 Eh. She'd have to catch me first. 143 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,990 I knew it. I knew this was gonna end badly. 144 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,659 Why are you always 145 00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,994 doing these things without asking me? 146 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:47,466 Why are you always testing my l...limits? 147 00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:50,936 Why is this letter signed "Marvin Hamlisch"? 148 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,773 Are they all signed "Marvin Hamlisch"? 149 00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:58,176 No, that would be stupid. 150 00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,579 Every letter has a different name. 151 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:04,216 But all of them quote me on the radio. 152 00:08:04,218 --> 00:08:05,884 See, that way Sendrax will think 153 00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:08,820 I've created a groundswell of support. 154 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,356 Shockingly clever, isn't it? 155 00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:12,524 [telephone rings] 156 00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:15,160 If that's Barry Manilow, I'm not home. 157 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:22,100 Hello. 158 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,169 Yes. Just a moment. 159 00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,404 It's for you. 160 00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,039 I'll try to keep it short. 161 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,275 You've been very understanding, by the way. 162 00:08:32,446 --> 00:08:34,379 Hello. 163 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,781 Yeah, this is Gordon Shumway. 164 00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,518 It's someone from Sendrax. 165 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,053 Oh, I feel so muy important. 166 00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:46,591 Somehow, we've got to get you into therapy. 167 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,595 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 168 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,965 No, no, we haven't dropped the plans 169 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:57,068 to go ahead with the consumer boycott. 170 00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,638 [whispers] I've got them scared. 171 00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:01,940 A meeting? 172 00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:04,309 I don't think that would be possible. 173 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,113 A lawsuit? 174 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,648 Uh.. 175 00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,750 Would I be suing you.. 176 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:14,019 ...or would you be suing me? 177 00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,188 I see. 178 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,592 It's for you. 179 00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:32,837 [softly] Hello. 180 00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,877 [instrumental music] 181 00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,414 ALF, you have got to think 182 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,783 what did you say in those letters? 183 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,085 Well, there were so many. 184 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:50,055 I don't recall any one underlying theme. 185 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,857 Does threat, squat and run 186 00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:55,293 mean anything to you? 187 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:58,863 Well, maybe one underlying theme. 188 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,435 Oh, look at that, it's punishment time. 189 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:05,870 What did the lawyer say, dad? 190 00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:07,806 He said he bills by the quarter-hour 191 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,975 and that he generally discourages people 192 00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:11,810 from antagonizing corporations 193 00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,179 that have more resources than God. 194 00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,682 Well, may I offer 195 00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:20,852 a few feeble words in my own defense? 196 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,090 Thank you. 197 00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:28,026 That company is doing bad things. 198 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:30,662 And I say we pick up their gauntlet 199 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,731 and nail them to the wall. 200 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,532 Right, Brian? 201 00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,835 What? I'm sorry, what? 202 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,171 Oh, it might not be such a bad idea 203 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,974 to meet with Sendrax and beg for mercy. 204 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:46,311 No, in a dignified way, of course. 205 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,846 I never had to grovel. 206 00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,447 Should I start on my knees 207 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,850 or should I build up to it? 208 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:55,053 [instrumental music] 209 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:01,192 Mr. Shumway? I'm sorry to keep you waiting. 210 00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,762 I'm Steve Michaels. It's nice to meet you. 211 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,296 [stuttering] As I was telling your secretary 212 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:08,033 my, my real name is Tanner, Willie Tanner. 213 00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,502 Oh, oh, well, I can see why you changed it. 214 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,671 Mine's Stephanovich Miglorisky 215 00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:15,707 but Steve Michaels is much less ethnic, don't you think? 216 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:16,908 Uh-huh. 217 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:19,678 Please. Please. 218 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,880 Well, you've created 219 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:23,848 quite a stir at the front office. 220 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,850 [chuckles] 221 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,219 That's why I'd like to take this time to tell you 222 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:31,890 that we at Sendrax are very, very concerned 223 00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,892 about the environment. 224 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,827 Of course. I'm sure you are. 225 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,563 Definitely. That's good enough for me. 226 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,965 And that's why we're joining other concerned companies 227 00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:42,767 to stop the production of C.F.C.'s 228 00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,102 within the next 10 years. 229 00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:45,370 Oh. 230 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,905 So you can see how 231 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,540 mounting a campaign against us 232 00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:49,808 would be foolish, can't you? 233 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,009 As foolish as our using 234 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:53,311 our immense legal staff 235 00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,679 to stop you in court. 236 00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:57,082 Not to mention costly. 237 00:11:57,084 --> 00:12:00,085 Absolutely. Foolish and costly. 238 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,454 And if you let me go.. 239 00:12:02,456 --> 00:12:05,056 I mean, when I go 240 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,292 I'm going to tell that to my supporters 241 00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:11,529 and I know you're not gonna have any more problems. 242 00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:12,964 Excellent. Excellent. 243 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,667 Then we're in agreement. Great. Great. Great. 244 00:12:15,669 --> 00:12:17,302 Hey, let me give you some souvenirs 245 00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:19,070 so you can walk away with something, huh? 246 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:22,207 - Oh, okay. Thanks. - Huh? 247 00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,742 - Do you have any kids? - Yeah. 248 00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:26,311 Oh, yeah. I've got three kids. 249 00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:30,115 I.. I have two, uh, I have two boys and, uh.. 250 00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:31,883 - I, uh.. - Oh, well, great. 251 00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:33,518 They'll love this stuff. 252 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:34,786 - There you go. - Oh! 253 00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,688 Thank you very much. 254 00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,857 Well, thank you. 255 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,893 Thank you very much. And, and, and goodbye. 256 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,795 Oh, it's always nice to meet someone who cares 257 00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:46,131 but doesn't get annoying about it. 258 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,802 Uh.. 259 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:55,507 You know.. 260 00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:58,643 You know what my kids would love more than any of this? 261 00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,879 They'd really love to have some reassurance 262 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,614 that they're gonna be left an environment 263 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,650 that's not been decimated by corporate indifference. 264 00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:06,918 I, I don't really think 265 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,154 that's all that much to ask, do you? 266 00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:11,589 How about a really nice fanny pack, instead? 267 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,160 I can't guarantee they're gonna be left a world 268 00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:18,296 with any ozone layer. or any rainforests 269 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:22,133 or any living things at all for that matter. 270 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,335 You know, you can't just turn around in 50 years 271 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:27,205 and say, "Uh-oh. We made a mistake." 272 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,874 Because who's gonna be there to hear it? 273 00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:35,246 I'm sorry, Mr. Michaels, at the risk of angering 274 00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:38,550 your immense legal staff.. 275 00:13:38,552 --> 00:13:40,351 ...this problem isn't gonna go away 276 00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,954 just because you choose to ignore it. 277 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:46,825 Well said. 278 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:49,561 Very, very, well said. 279 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,097 I'm sorry. I couldn't, I couldn't contain myself. 280 00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:57,101 I, I admire that commitment. That passion, you know? 281 00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,304 You're an articulate man, Gordon. 282 00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:00,872 Frankly, we're always looking for 283 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,007 just that kind of people around here. 284 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,542 - Yeah. - Okay. I'm going. 285 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:07,645 No. The-there's an opening in public relations. 286 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,049 Of course, the money isn't bad. 287 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,084 I mean, 75 a year. 288 00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,352 I'm just assuming from your suit 289 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,121 that's considerably more than you're making. 290 00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,957 You're offering me a job? 291 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,358 That includes two Lakers season tickets 292 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,327 if you don't mind sitting courtside. 293 00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:24,996 Nicholson yells a lot, but he knows a lot of fancy women. 294 00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:30,735 Mr. Michaels, with all due respect.. 295 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:33,104 ...would you expect me to take a job with a company 296 00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:36,674 that's responsible for destroying.. 297 00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:42,380 Would that be all the home games and the parking? 298 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:46,684 You're a shrewd businessman. 299 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,920 I just wanna be clear. 300 00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:51,856 [instrumental music] 301 00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:55,026 (ALF) '"Sendrax: We Care."' 302 00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:59,097 This stuff is way cool. 303 00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:02,267 I can't believe it was free. 304 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:05,703 So you're considering his offer, aren't you? 305 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,372 [sighs] I know they're not 306 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,674 the most socially conscious company in the world 307 00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:12,010 but even so, it would give me a chance 308 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:15,346 to try to affect some change from inside. 309 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,849 - Uh-huh. - Oh, I see. 310 00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:19,217 You're saying that realistically 311 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:20,885 what kind of change could I affect 312 00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:22,854 in that position? 313 00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:24,122 No. 314 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,156 So, so then you're saying 315 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,491 it wasn't my eloquent speech 316 00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:30,061 it was just their way of buying me off? 317 00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:32,263 Willie, listen to me. I'm not saying anything. 318 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,666 Kate, will you get off his back? 319 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,469 You think I'm fooling myself, don't you? 320 00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:41,172 You think that not only would I not be doing the right thing 321 00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:43,474 but that I'm selling out everything I believe in 322 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:47,478 for $75,000, and a chance to meet Jack Nicholson. 323 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,448 Would you take the job, Willie? 324 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,084 Then you could hire me as your assistant. 325 00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:57,989 Together we can destroy the company from within. 326 00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,657 ALF, please. 327 00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,926 It's not without precedent. 328 00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:04,262 Look at C.B.S. 329 00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:05,830 Dad, if there's any chance at all 330 00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:08,132 that you can use your position to make a difference 331 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,268 from inside the company, don't you think 332 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:11,903 you owe it to yourself to try? 333 00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:14,706 I mean, really try? 334 00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,474 - What do you think, Kate? - No, Willie. 335 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,810 - No-- - No, this is your decision. 336 00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,712 Well, what do you really think? 337 00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:24,782 Well, I...I was thinking about Earth Day. 338 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,284 Oh. 339 00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,486 - Yeah. 1970. - 'Yeah.' 340 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,488 We organized that sit-in against that company 341 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,390 that was polluting the bay, remember? 342 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,925 And they had just shampooed the carpets 343 00:16:33,927 --> 00:16:35,093 we all got these terrible rashes 344 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,127 and had to spend the night 345 00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,229 at the free clinic. 346 00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,098 It was quite a sight. 347 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:43,201 Three hundred people from every walk of life 348 00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:45,636 chanting and scratching. 349 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:51,376 Who am I kidding? I'm not taking that job. 350 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,277 Oh, but I'm telling you, Willie 351 00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:56,814 we can crush that company in five days. 352 00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:59,584 Three, if we work nights. 353 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:02,620 ALF, we'll beat them some other way. 354 00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:05,089 Trust me. 355 00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,925 Alright, alright. 356 00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,961 It'll do me good anyway to tell Michaels 357 00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:12,663 what he can do with his job. 358 00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,566 Well, this time when you tell him off 359 00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:18,669 see if they have any jogging suits to go with my hat. 360 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,408 [instrumental music] 361 00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:25,243 [intercom buzzes] 362 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,944 (Laurel) 'Mr. Michaels.' 363 00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:29,247 'Mr. Shumway is here.' 364 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,649 Fine. Send him in. 365 00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,584 Tanner. It's Tanner. 366 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:37,455 Pete. Michaels. Yeah. 367 00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,957 See if you can get me a tanning bed at 5:30. 368 00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:41,793 I'm going to Saint-Tropez and I don't wanna look like 369 00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:43,928 the twin moons of Jupiter out there. 370 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,163 Okay. 371 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:49,000 Hey, Willie. How's it going, bub? 372 00:17:49,002 --> 00:17:50,635 Mr. Michaels. 373 00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:54,639 If you were doing something that was bad for you 374 00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:57,842 and somebody pointed it out to you that it was 375 00:17:57,844 --> 00:18:00,912 would it take you 10 years to stop doing it? 376 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,480 Ah, well, before you go on 377 00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,715 I think I should tell you you're talking to the wrong man. 378 00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:08,252 I'm not gonna be shoved off on somebody else. 379 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,521 Did you know that if you took the ozone layer 380 00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:12,356 and laid it on the ground, it would only be 381 00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:14,025 about as thick as a piece of canvas? 382 00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:19,063 And holes larger than Antarctica have already been found in it. 383 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:20,498 And phytoplankton 384 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,634 that's the ocean's first step in the food chain 385 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,437 can be destroyed by just a 10 percent increase 386 00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,306 in ultraviolet light? 387 00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:31,275 This isn't about skin cancer.. 388 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,344 ...or cataracts 389 00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:36,280 it's about the end of the planet! 390 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:40,184 Again, brilliantly spoken. 391 00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:43,020 However, as I tried to tell you earlier 392 00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:44,555 I'm leaving. 393 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:47,191 The new management is bringing in fresh meat. 394 00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:48,759 What? I'm sorry. 395 00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,394 Oh, don't be. 396 00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,864 Who cares? I don't. 397 00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:54,765 You want these? 398 00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,634 Well, uh, how about these paper clips? 399 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,570 - No, no. No, thanks. - Oh, I insist. Take them. 400 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:02,340 Go on, take anything. I hate these people. 401 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,742 You need a phone? 402 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,377 Say, uh, this isn't going to have 403 00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,412 quite the impact that I'd hoped 404 00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:11,282 but I'm not taking that job. 405 00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,584 Uh-huh. That's too bad. Yeah. 406 00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,620 Don't you care? 407 00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:18,523 Have you gotten so caught up in this corporate game 408 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:21,626 that you've lost sight of what matters? 409 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,961 Ah. So you're taking this to a personal level. 410 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:27,665 People have to care. 411 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,401 [scoffs] Read your hat, man. 412 00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:31,969 I've got an idea. 413 00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:35,006 I think you're gonna like this. It's gonna be fun. 414 00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:38,776 Laurel, get me Jacobs at the Baton Rouge plant. 415 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,279 If it means anything 416 00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:43,548 I'm getting out of C.F.C.'s. 417 00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:45,750 I'm going to a company that makes textiles 418 00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:48,953 or textbooks or Tex-Mex, I don't know. 419 00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,288 [intercom buzzes] 420 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,490 (Laurel) 'Mr. Jacobs on line four' 421 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:54,692 These people think they can just 422 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,394 kick my white butt out of here. 423 00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:57,995 By this time next week, they're gonna have to 424 00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:00,531 turn me over to recognize me. 425 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,434 Rob? Hi, how's it going? 426 00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:05,937 That's good. Great, great. 427 00:20:05,939 --> 00:20:09,407 Listen, this just came down from the top. 428 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:13,144 At noon today, we're gonna stop making C.F.C.'s. 429 00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:14,579 That's right. 430 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:17,415 Uh, stop thinking about yourself for a second. 431 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,749 They're bad for the environment. 432 00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:21,886 We care about stuff like that, don't we? 433 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,888 Read your hat. 434 00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:27,825 Okay. See you at the picnic. 435 00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:31,596 That's it? One phone call? 436 00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,497 Oh, well, they'll figure it out in a few days 437 00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:35,766 and start back up again. 438 00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:38,736 Of course, um, if you were to call the media 439 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,938 and tell them Sendrax had turned over a new leaf 440 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,941 it might make it a little harder for them. 441 00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:45,676 Yeah, I could do that. 442 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:48,212 I almost worked in public relations once. 443 00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:49,480 [both chuckle] 444 00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:52,283 You know, I'm not really a bad guy. 445 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:55,219 I care about things too. I do. 446 00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:57,221 Maybe not very deeply, but all the same 447 00:20:57,223 --> 00:20:59,123 I love the outdoors, and I think the Earth 448 00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:01,325 is just a great, great place. 449 00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:04,762 Really, I mean that. It is. Yeah. 450 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:08,432 - You play racquetball? - Uh, afraid not. 451 00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,468 Thanks. Uh, thanks for what you did. 452 00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:12,870 Oh, hey, I was just happy to stick it to them. 453 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:14,905 [chuckles] 454 00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:17,875 Say, uh, there's just one thing I'd like to know. 455 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,244 Did you offer me that job 456 00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:22,413 because you thought I was right for it 457 00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:25,516 or was it just to keep me quiet? 458 00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:27,718 [chuckles] We came this far together. 459 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,421 Do you really wanna test our friendship? 460 00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:31,922 [chuckles] 461 00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:38,796 Thanks. Thanks for the phone. 462 00:21:40,867 --> 00:21:43,534 [instrumental music] 463 00:21:45,238 --> 00:21:47,738 [instrumental music] 464 00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:52,677 Oh, oh, here's another one. 465 00:21:52,679 --> 00:21:54,545 Did you know that statistics prove 466 00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:57,381 if you turn the tap off when you brush your teeth 467 00:21:57,383 --> 00:22:01,052 you'd save 10 to 15 gallons of water every time? 468 00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:05,122 Did you know that statistics prove 469 00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:06,957 that those who ramble on and on 470 00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,659 long after they've been asked to stop 471 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:11,362 are more prone to head injuries? 472 00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:15,066 Oh, ha! I can top that one. 473 00:22:15,068 --> 00:22:17,001 Did you know that if everyone recycled 474 00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:19,637 just one-tenth of their newspaper 475 00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:23,107 we could save about 25 million trees every year. 476 00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:27,345 Willie, would you get me the meat mallet? 477 00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:28,746 It's a good book, Kate. 478 00:22:28,748 --> 00:22:31,949 It's got things in it that everyone can do. 479 00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:33,851 Hey, did you know that if every family 480 00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:35,553 planted one tree, we could replenish-- 481 00:22:35,555 --> 00:22:37,755 It's in the top drawer. 482 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:40,925 Look, we're recycling. 483 00:22:40,927 --> 00:22:42,927 We're gonna boycott tuna, we're writing letters 484 00:22:42,929 --> 00:22:46,764 about the rainforest, and you are driving me crazy. 485 00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:49,900 But did you write those letters on recycled paper? 486 00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:52,503 That's it. That's it. 487 00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:54,872 I give up. I give up! 488 00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:57,475 Luckily, she's got me here to remind her. 489 00:22:58,845 --> 00:23:03,714 Oh, hey, Willie, did you know that if we recycle aluminum cans 490 00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:05,950 we can cut related air pollution 491 00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:08,452 by 95 percent? 492 00:23:10,189 --> 00:23:11,522 Willie? 493 00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:16,060 [theme music] 494 00:23:40,319 --> 00:23:43,521 [ALF laughs]